The Day Reality Sunk In

...also known as, the day that screwed me.

So, last night.  Last night I ran.  Not far (1k) not fast (that took me 10 mins)...but I ran.

I thought things were looking up.

I stretched.

I even foam rolled and massaged my feet with a massage ball.  My shin did NOT like the foam roller.  I may have even yelped in pain. But in my limited experience with a foam roller - that is nothing new.

Today, I woke up hurting.  No worse than usual.  But hurting.  It was a good thing I was heading to the doctor.

I got in really fast, considering I was just walking in today.  I always like it when I get to see my actual family doctor.  She has been my doctor for something like 14 years and is really good at diagnosing me - especially when it comes to odd things.

So I told her about my shin.  I told her I wanted to rule out a stress fracture and then I told her my hunches on what has been causing the shin splints.  Most specifically - I told her about the hammock injury that I had not come to see her about because it was "just a bad bruise, after all".  My thought was that the hammock injury and the long recovery has screwed up my biomechanics.  This is supported by how my chiro pointed out the misalignment in my pelvis. She agreed on both counts.

I could see the wheels turning in her head as she examined my calf.  She pressed in a couple of places with her thumb.  Nothing.  Then she pressed a third place and I nearly shot through the ceiling.   So. Much. Pain.

That was when she broke it to me.  There is a good possibility that I am looking at a stress fracture.  and I am forbidden to run until we have the results of the tests.  I also need to keep my lower leg wrapped until we know for sure.

DAMMIT!

So - off I went to the Radiologist.  Thorough xraying of my tibia and fibula commenced.

I won't know those results for a few days.  I go for a bone scan on Tuesday morning.

This throws so many kinks into my plans for my redemption marathon this year.   I think it goes without saying that the least I am going to be able to do is scale back to the half.  I knew 12 weeks was pushing it to properly train for a marathon, but if I am facing a 6 week fracture recovery...yeah. That.

I am lucky in one regard, though.  If I miss the race altogether - I am not losing any money.  My wellness spending account through my work reimbursed my fees for the race.  Perhaps I can get a deferral to next year and still get to do the race.  I have so many contingency plans running through my head that is helping to ease my brain away from the real possibility of my most feared diagnosis.

Dammit.

On one hand - this is a disastrous blow to my plans this year.  But on the other hand - it is kind of a good year to have it happen if it had to happen at all.  I haven't registered for many races yet.  It is a good wakeup call.

I also need to stop moaning and bitching like this is an already diagnosed fracture.  Right now it is just a hunch by my doctor who has proven time and time again that her hunches are usually right.  So I am going to try to think of my plan for either way.   No matter what - I think the marathon is off the table and that really sucks.  REALLY sucks.

But I'd rather heal. Maybe healing will give me a fantastic PB at RNR Vancouver this fall.  Maybe I will come back stronger than ever.  Either way, I am really looking forward to having answers so I can move forward.