Today marks one month since I ran my marathon. ONLY. ONE. MONTH. That's insanity! It feels like it was a year ago!
So, where am I one month later? Well, the weight I gained during training is finally coming off...slowly. My motivation to work out at all is really weak. I just can't bring myself to do it and I am suddenly so busy in all aspects of my life that I am too tired (there's the catch-22, because I realize it might help with my energy level if I did it). I'm swamped at work. I'm swamped at home. Adding an extra person to the household has been much more draining than I expected it would be. I'm swamped with kid stuff and with dealing with my "spirited" child.
I have run exactly 3 times. 3K, 5K and 8K. Working my way up again to maintain a base, I suppose. I don't have a real race in the near future - just the Resolution Run on New Years, though I am thinking I should do a Christmas fun run again...maybe the Santa Shuffle. Anyone in? I need a race on the horizon to keep me moving forward. Next year may be the year I strive to excel at the 10K distance.
I haven't spent as much time thinking over my marathon experience. People (runner friends) keep asking me if I am going to maintain my pre-marathon position of never doing another full. Honesty time? I have kind of softened on that but I know if I do another it will have a list of unbreakable conditions:
1) It has to be HUGE! A New York. A Rock & Roll. A London. Something that is an absolutely GINORMOUS marathon because I never want to be completely alone on a race course ever again. And I want race swag. Okanagan had nothing.
2) I will train and run it with a friend - again, NEVER running that distance alone again.
3) I'd have a better spectaor plan. Missing all of my spectators for the entire race (hubby excluded) really sucked. I thought we had set something up clearly but apparently we hadn't because it never happened. That totally sucked.
4) I'd be clearer with what I actually wanted. When I signed up for Okanagan, there were lots of people who were going to come out and run the half to support me while I did the full. As the race approached, they dropped away one by one and I pretended to be okay with it. It sucked. I should stop pretending I don't care because it never benefits me.
5) Tied to a cause. Nike was a real experience for me last year. Not only because it was huge but because it had so much more meaning than anything I had done since. I think if I do another full, I'll do it for a charity again so I can have a stronger connection to it than I did to Okanagan.
6) I would train properly. because I didn't for this one. and it showed.
7) My daughters will be significantly older. Because it's crazy to work full time and train for a marathon when you have two toddlers. INSANITY!
In the end, my marathon was just 42.2K (26.2 miles). I wasn't emotional crossing the finish line - I was just relieved it was over. I didn't even feel a huge sense of accomplishment...and I should have. It IS an accomplishment to just finish. But as many times as I have feigned pride - I don't really feel it. I feel like it could have just been a better overall experience if I'd done it differently.
So there is me - frankly being more honest than I have been throughout the past month. Sorry if I lied to your face, but it was what it was and this is where I really am.