I should warn you...this one is going to get long.
As you have probably noticed from the general tone of my workout/running/eating posts lately - I haven't been doing so well. In July, I've gained back the weight I lost in June (BOO!) and my motivation has been nil. I am extremely exhausted and no matter what I do, I can't seem to catch up. I'm not even going to share what the state of my housekeeping has been because I don't want the department of health and safety to pop by and condemn the house.
Maybe it's the heat that's affecting me. Maybe it's trying to do too much. Maybe my brain needs a reset button so I can start fresh. Maybe I need to hire a maid. Maybe I need to hire a personal trainer. Who knows. But I need to do something.
So, last night, I took a look at June. A month that, while hard, proved to bring some results for me in my diet and exercise. Having gained back the weight is bugging me because I know there is no one to blame but myself. I have been eating anything I can get my hands on...and then some. I know that I have been slacking because I haven't even been tracking it lately. My Fitness Pal shows some days where I've been honest and accounted for all of the chips and chocolate and then there are days where I just haven't bothered to track half of my meals let alone the other crap.
Starting today I am going to try to rein that in. I updated my higher weight into My Fitness Pal and I am going to try really hard to stick to my calorie allowance...because I need to. Sure, I type this as I chug back a latte...but I need that right now too.
Next stop...my running. Today is a running day. Did I haul my ass out of bed at 4am to run? Nope. 4am came a bit too soon after I closed my eyes and I just couldn't do it. Did i need to do it? I don't know. With the way I am feeling lately - I am wondering if maybe I need to scale back a bit. I have this mental block where the training plan says 3 mid-week runs and my brain stubbornly says "NO! Two!" I am not enjoying my runs lately for a number of reasons. Perhaps the biggest reason is that they have been a largely solo endeavour for the past month. I miss my runner girls (and am so happy to be hooking up with JS this weekend for 15 of the 22.5K I have to do). I really enjoy and look forward to those Saturday runs where we just talk and laugh and plow through the miles. Sometimes I think they give me a bigger boost to keeping me motivated throughout the week than anything else. And an iPod just isn't the same.
I'm also going through route boredom right now. Because of the blackbird issue, I basically have one 5K route in Langdon that I can run. I run it one way on Tuesdays and the opposite way on Thursdays. I think I need to spend some time (if I can find any) and just look at Langdon on Map My Run and see if I can't come up with 4-5 different 5-6K routes that I can alternate.
Looking back at June, I also recognize that I had my weekly TRX class. I really liked working on the suspension trainer - even though toward the end the class was more like a regular boot camp with minimal TRX in it (it was actually better suited to my plyometrics goals in that respect). Much of what I liked about the class was the camaraderie with the other ladies. I'm starting to realize that maybe I'm not necessarily such a solo fitness gal after all. I enjoy getting out and being with other like-minded gals ALOT more than I ever thought I would. I think I need to get back at it next month again.
I also recognize that I need the strength training. I saw incredible gains in my fitness in June...mainly because I had that class. Yesterday, I made the decision that I enjoyed the TRX enough to invest in one so I started looking for one. The TRX system is really expensive and I knew there were similar products out there so started to investigate a bit further. I had seen the Rip:60 system in the latest Fitness magazine and I wanted to know how it compared to a TRX because they looked remarkably similar. Review after review that compared the two said that the Rip:60 was actually better designed for a comparable product. I also liked that you get a complete system when you buy the Rip:60. It comes with 12 DVDs (including one with exercises specific to runners) and a nutrition guide. You can use the DVDs individually or you can follow the 8 week plan they lay out. It also costs much less than the TRX, coming in (incl. shipping) at around $145 CDN instead of the $189 before tax of the TRX. The more I read, the better it sounded...so, last night I took the plunge and ordered it! I am thinking I will do the 8 week program and see if it doesn't help motivate me.
My disgusting house is getting me down more than I want to admit (well, I've kind of admitted it now) - so the action item here is to seriously consider getting a monthly maid service...someone to come into my home once a month and give it a good scouring. Then I can just maintain it. I'm hoping hubby is on the same page with that.
My diet is sucking so bad right now, but I am still focused on the prize (aka my goal weight). I know I need to buckle down to get there so I will aim to track my foods and weight honestly and return to the basic premise that I had when I started this journey...stick to the allowance and move more.
I am so tired lately that I think I need to be more diligent at going to be early. Maybe I'll set an alarm clock in the living room to go off when it's time for me to head to bed. It's worth a shot because it's not like I am doing anything productive when I am sitting on the sofa watching my life drain away.
Route boredom can be cured by varying routes so my take away here is to take the time to find new routes and run them
Recognizing how much I need that weekly group run, I am going to try harder to make sure I am not running alone on Saturdays. Summer is really hard to get us all together - too many commitments and vacations tend to keep us apart...but I do have a large network of running friends now (so much so that I even have a Running Buddies group on my BBM. I'm sure with some planning, I can ensure that I get through this marathon training without logging lost 30K runs completely solo.
I am not 100% certain that my running doldrums aren't a sign of overtraining. So an adjustment to the marathon training schedule is in order. I'm sure I can run long on the weekends and do a couple of weekday runs and still be prepared for Okanagan in October. Train smarter, not harder. Make it fit with life.
I think I am going to return to my weekly class in August. Not just for the TRX, but to keep me accountable to my strength training and get me out and around women in my town. Most of us are mothers. Some are even runners. The cost of the class is reasonable and I think i can budget it into my monthly allowance so I can keep going.
At most, the Rip:60 will probably take 3 weeks to get here. That will give me enough time to figure out how to incorporate it into my weekly schedule. I don't know that I will follow the 8 week plan, per se, but I am sure I can come up with a rotation that will work well for me. Plus - a new piece of fitness equipment might be just what I need to get me excited about working out again.
And addressing my exhaustion here as well, I think maybe holding myself to Monday thru Saturday workouts is killing me. There are only so many ways I can leap out of bed at 4am. I think I need to maybe look at adjusting the workout plan to Sunday thru Thursday and give myself Friday as my day off. This will mean only 4 days a week will be getting me up at 4am. It's worth a try.
Hopefully this little to do list will give me just the kick in the pants I need to get moving again. Thanks for sticking with me (if you lasted this far into the post). I just know that I needed to work through it now because I was almost to the "Fuck it" point where I was going to let it all go. I haven't worked this hard for this long and come this far to throw it all away now! Here's hoping this little refresh will give me some momentum to work with.